I smile uncontrollably when I see your name on my phone...

She doesn't know how much I love her...

I can understand where her doubts and worries come from, her anger, disappointment and lack of trust...
if she only knew who much I loved her...
if she only knew she was the perfect woman...
if she only knew that with her I feel unstoppable...
if she only knew how much I would give for her...
if she only knew that without her I am empty...

I feel her anger when she isn't around, her lack of presence hurts my heart more than I could ever explain to her...
I miss her voice, her quietness and the perfect way she looks into my eyes...
I do not know what I will do without her...I want to give everything I have for her...
I wish she knew how much I loved her...

I never knew what real love was until I met her...I am so in love with her it makes me physically sick to know I have let her down, I will do anything to show her she is the only woman I want, the only woman I dream of...

I literally dropped and almost fainted when I was running today, my chest and actual heart hurt physically so much it floored me...
The hardest part with this is that I did this...

I am not perfect, nor do I claim to be...she has been told all of my past discretions; she overlooked them...
She knows the mistakes I have made, yet, she looked me in the eyes and told me that I am a good person and that she loved me...yet, she cannot do that now...

I have been to jail, I have lost my family, I have made many mistakes...I have never felt the way I do at this exact moment...

I never wanted to let her down...I just wanted to love her, give her an amazing life, make her smile and never cry...I failed

Never again will I make this mistake...never again will I risk the greatest thing to ever come into my life

This has made me focused, determined...more than my recent anger
This has made me see what I need...I need her

I feel as if I have lost her...it brings tears to my eyes as I write this; I wish she knew and believed how I love her...

I smile uncontrollably when I see your name on my phone