She doesn't know how much I love her...
I can understand where her doubts and worries come from, her anger, disappointment and lack of trust...
if she only knew who much I loved her...
if she only knew she was the perfect woman...
if she only knew that with her I feel unstoppable...
if she only knew how much I would give for her...
if she only knew that without her I am empty...
I feel her anger when she isn't around, her lack of presence hurts my heart more than I could ever explain to her...
I miss her voice, her quietness and the perfect way she looks into my eyes...
I do not know what I will do without her...I want to give everything I have for her...
I wish she knew how much I loved her...
I never knew what real love was until I met her...I am so in love with her it makes me physically sick to know I have let her down, I will do anything to show her she is the only woman I want, the only woman I dream of...
I literally dropped and almost fainted when I was running today, my chest and actual heart hurt physically so much it floored me...
The hardest part with this is that I did this...
I am not perfect, nor do I claim to be...she has been told all of my past discretions; she overlooked them...
She knows the mistakes I have made, yet, she looked me in the eyes and told me that I am a good person and that she loved me...yet, she cannot do that now...
I have been to jail, I have lost my family, I have made many mistakes...I have never felt the way I do at this exact moment...
I never wanted to let her down...I just wanted to love her, give her an amazing life, make her smile and never cry...I failed
Never again will I make this mistake...never again will I risk the greatest thing to ever come into my life
This has made me focused, determined...more than my recent anger
This has made me see what I need...I need her
I feel as if I have lost her...it brings tears to my eyes as I write this; I wish she knew and believed how I love her...
I smile uncontrollably when I see your name on my phone
Monday, June 20, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Pepsi vs. Coke & fMRI Research. Guess What? It’s About More Than Just Taste.
All of our senses are involved during the decision making and branding process, even when we don’t know they’re playing a part. I’ll be conducting some of my own fMRI studies in the next few months, consider this a teaser from the tip of the iceberg.
For example, Pepsi’s “taste the difference” campaign. This was interesting because it focused on taste as the primary determinant of preference. There were a few issues involved with this. First of all, it was a “sip” comparison, not drinking an entire beverage. Think about taking that first sip, compared to sipping half the can. Taste changes slightly as we become more acclimatized to it. Preference during sipping does not equate to preference towards consumption.
In choosing a product preference, taste is not the only sense involved. Other physical properties such as color, texture and smell play a role. Additional influences include visual and auditory stimulus as well as reward input. Of equal or greater importance, are the cultural differences associated with the brand of product. Last but not least, mood and social context either are highly significant in how we perceive a product.
Today’s marketplace is not so much about the actual product, but brand and perception.
A study published in Neuron by McClure et. Al compared consumer responses between Coke and Pepsi under the fMRI. Pepsi and Coke were taste-tested under conditions where stimuli was used to prime for a response. The stimulus was either a yellow light (dummy variable) or visual Pepsi / Coke branding. No deception was involved in this test, and knowledge of what product they preferred was determined in advance.
When individuals preferred one drink to another, they were unable to distinguish them in an anonymous taste test. Additionally, there was an equal split in preference in the absence of brand information. It was thereby determined that label had a huge impact on taste.
fMRI usage was important because in order to understand this phenomenon, it was necessary to see the precise decision making process. We could see depending on which regions lit up, that preference was not related purely to appetite preference.
The taste test naturally activates the regions responsible for taste in the DLPFC (dorsolateral prefrontal cortex). However, when the user was showed the product branding, the hippocampus region responsible for memory recall lit up.
When this happens before the taste test, the emotionally primed regions recall how we felt in a previous emotional state (how coke/pepsi make us feel through various ad campaigns) which determines in the end- what taste we prefer.
In other words, it’s far from just taste that influences product choice and loyalty.
- Darwin vs The Machine
http://www.darwinversusthemachine.com/
For example, Pepsi’s “taste the difference” campaign. This was interesting because it focused on taste as the primary determinant of preference. There were a few issues involved with this. First of all, it was a “sip” comparison, not drinking an entire beverage. Think about taking that first sip, compared to sipping half the can. Taste changes slightly as we become more acclimatized to it. Preference during sipping does not equate to preference towards consumption.
In choosing a product preference, taste is not the only sense involved. Other physical properties such as color, texture and smell play a role. Additional influences include visual and auditory stimulus as well as reward input. Of equal or greater importance, are the cultural differences associated with the brand of product. Last but not least, mood and social context either are highly significant in how we perceive a product.
Today’s marketplace is not so much about the actual product, but brand and perception.
A study published in Neuron by McClure et. Al compared consumer responses between Coke and Pepsi under the fMRI. Pepsi and Coke were taste-tested under conditions where stimuli was used to prime for a response. The stimulus was either a yellow light (dummy variable) or visual Pepsi / Coke branding. No deception was involved in this test, and knowledge of what product they preferred was determined in advance.
When individuals preferred one drink to another, they were unable to distinguish them in an anonymous taste test. Additionally, there was an equal split in preference in the absence of brand information. It was thereby determined that label had a huge impact on taste.
fMRI usage was important because in order to understand this phenomenon, it was necessary to see the precise decision making process. We could see depending on which regions lit up, that preference was not related purely to appetite preference.
The taste test naturally activates the regions responsible for taste in the DLPFC (dorsolateral prefrontal cortex). However, when the user was showed the product branding, the hippocampus region responsible for memory recall lit up.
When this happens before the taste test, the emotionally primed regions recall how we felt in a previous emotional state (how coke/pepsi make us feel through various ad campaigns) which determines in the end- what taste we prefer.
In other words, it’s far from just taste that influences product choice and loyalty.
- Darwin vs The Machine
http://www.darwinversusthemachine.com/
Friday, April 8, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Gibberish?
The following may be qualified as gibberish but I feel like ranting on and on for a bit...
Today was an interesting one to say the least.
I wrote the above posting with a far from clear head while I was thinking about life and needed to vent...I now write this because I want to just write...I see no problem with that, do you?
While sitting at my computer earlier on and trying to "figure out life" LOL...because that apparently is something we all do, regardless of the fact that "figuring out life" mainly means..."I may not be happy right now, but if I convince myself something better is ahead than all is well"...Guess what? No it isn't...
When are we going to be honest with ourselves I wondered...so, I did just that.
I sat back and started being honest with myself about everything going on in my life right now. What came from that? Well, I can honestly say, I am much happier than I was at 12:00pm today...
We see our lives as being so hard and so complicated, yet someone told me today that it is US who make our lives just that and frankly, they are right...
So I figured, instead of trying to force things, why not just sit back and see what happens...So, I may do just that in some aspects of life.
Pessimism and negativity are like computer viruses sent via e-mail promising an image of an 'oh so adorable' puppy...they attach onto others and spread like wild fire until they just tear down the security walls and what are we left with? Problems we have never wanted. I realized this quite some time ago and promised myself I would see the best in every situation and everyone and to this day I make sure to be an optimist in any and all aspects of my life.
Hopefully in time this will spread like the virus I fore mentioned and many people around me can begin to see the positive aspects in their lives also. Putting a smile on others faces is something I hold very close to my heart and hope I can do on a daily basis.
If only 1 person smiles everyday because of me, I will always know I had a positive effect of their lives. That is the pure and real feeling of happiness and positive accomplishment in my opinion. You will have your own of course but please try to see why that is mine.
Our lives are not really that bad are they? In retrospect, absolutely not.
You wanted those $300 shoes but could only afford the $100 shoes? Think about the man with no feet...
We are blessed everyday when we take that first breath, open our tired eyes to the world before us and look in the mirror and see an individual like no other...
We have opportunities others will never get, yet we blame others for our failures?
This does not make sense to me. I personally know multi-millionaires that have every toy, the biggest of this, the best of that BUT when they look in the mirror they hate who they see. No thanks, not for me...yes toys and expensive things are nice, but that is all they are to me. Personal happiness is much more important.
I have once looked into that same mirror and been disgusted with whom I was looking at and said, no more. Never again will I allow myself to go through that personal feeling of disgust.
We complain about the price of gas, yet we can afford the car we are putting it into when there are people that live on the streets.
We whine when there is traffic, but are we on our way to feed the homeless and unfortunate OR are we on our way to buy needless things?
I know you all may not agree with this and that is fine with me. I do not seek your approval like I once did. I only ask one thing of you and please do this for yourself and those close to you.
If you EVER look into that mirror and can't smile, fix it, immediately.
You will never know the truly joyous feeling of making others happy if you hate yourself...
"No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change"
- Barbara de Angelis
Today was an interesting one to say the least.
I wrote the above posting with a far from clear head while I was thinking about life and needed to vent...I now write this because I want to just write...I see no problem with that, do you?
While sitting at my computer earlier on and trying to "figure out life" LOL...because that apparently is something we all do, regardless of the fact that "figuring out life" mainly means..."I may not be happy right now, but if I convince myself something better is ahead than all is well"...Guess what? No it isn't...
When are we going to be honest with ourselves I wondered...so, I did just that.
I sat back and started being honest with myself about everything going on in my life right now. What came from that? Well, I can honestly say, I am much happier than I was at 12:00pm today...
We see our lives as being so hard and so complicated, yet someone told me today that it is US who make our lives just that and frankly, they are right...
So I figured, instead of trying to force things, why not just sit back and see what happens...So, I may do just that in some aspects of life.
Pessimism and negativity are like computer viruses sent via e-mail promising an image of an 'oh so adorable' puppy...they attach onto others and spread like wild fire until they just tear down the security walls and what are we left with? Problems we have never wanted. I realized this quite some time ago and promised myself I would see the best in every situation and everyone and to this day I make sure to be an optimist in any and all aspects of my life.
Hopefully in time this will spread like the virus I fore mentioned and many people around me can begin to see the positive aspects in their lives also. Putting a smile on others faces is something I hold very close to my heart and hope I can do on a daily basis.
If only 1 person smiles everyday because of me, I will always know I had a positive effect of their lives. That is the pure and real feeling of happiness and positive accomplishment in my opinion. You will have your own of course but please try to see why that is mine.
Our lives are not really that bad are they? In retrospect, absolutely not.
You wanted those $300 shoes but could only afford the $100 shoes? Think about the man with no feet...
We are blessed everyday when we take that first breath, open our tired eyes to the world before us and look in the mirror and see an individual like no other...
We have opportunities others will never get, yet we blame others for our failures?
This does not make sense to me. I personally know multi-millionaires that have every toy, the biggest of this, the best of that BUT when they look in the mirror they hate who they see. No thanks, not for me...yes toys and expensive things are nice, but that is all they are to me. Personal happiness is much more important.
I have once looked into that same mirror and been disgusted with whom I was looking at and said, no more. Never again will I allow myself to go through that personal feeling of disgust.
We complain about the price of gas, yet we can afford the car we are putting it into when there are people that live on the streets.
We whine when there is traffic, but are we on our way to feed the homeless and unfortunate OR are we on our way to buy needless things?
I know you all may not agree with this and that is fine with me. I do not seek your approval like I once did. I only ask one thing of you and please do this for yourself and those close to you.
If you EVER look into that mirror and can't smile, fix it, immediately.
You will never know the truly joyous feeling of making others happy if you hate yourself...
"No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change"
- Barbara de Angelis
Self confusion...is it just an excuse?
As I sit here trying to focus on my task at hand the only thing I can think of are the 25 other things I want to get started on.
Is there really a way to control my random thoughts by not compromising how I think or who I am?
Are there really too many things racing through my head at once or is that just me finding an excuse to explain my confusion?
These questions can only be answered by myself yet I am the only person that is asking how to solve them...does that make sense to you? Does my intelligence overcome my focus? Is it possible I am too smart for my own mind? Or am I just, yet again, making up excuses for my self confusion. Is it just my mind conflicting with my final decisions?
Do I need to see a therapist or do I just need to stop worrying?
Why do I worry?
Let's start there; why do I worry?
I think I worry because of what I have seen happen to intelligent people that lose track of themselves. I find it easy to work on 100 things at once but I don't like to do it. Is that strange? Something I find so easy to do is the exact problem that makes it hard.
I mean on one hand I should feel blessed to be able to multi-task so well and know wholeheartedly that everything I ever do will be a success but selfishly I find this to be a hindrance.
It was her that made me see that my abilities to be successful as a gift and that I shouldn't look at them as a hindrance, but she was an alcoholic with an intellect that I could never rival. So was this her sober genius talking to me or her stubborn drunken self just saying what she can to shut me up?
Do I believe her? After she told me I was never meant to be? I want to believe what she says and trust in the security in her words but I can't. Is that a problem with me or have I just been emotionally abused so much that what she says gets rejected by my conscious self almost immediately?
I have recently met an individual that rivals my unknown intelligence and challenges my thoughts and myself. This I like very much. Does that mean I have an attraction to confrontation? I know what I speak of is not confrontational but could it be? Is that the reason I find this individual so intriguing? I asked myself this last night as I lay in bed watch "Red Dragon"; a psychological thriller. Sidenote; great movie. Anyway, I have come to the conclusion that my intrigue toward this individual is not based on confrontation but yet based on intelligence. I get very tired of people very quickly but I am not tired of this person. That on one hand is an amazing feat for me but on the other hand somewhat has me asking myself if I am okay knowing that there is someone out there that can break down these walls so easily. Walls that I have worked very hard and have gone through so much to be able to have. Most would see this as a problem, they would be worried. I myself feel that I am excited. I look forward to learning from this person and bettering myself based on their ideas and thoughts.
I am fanatic about bettering myself, about finding my next challenge and about making myself a great person.
Many will say I am a great person now, the only problem is, many of these people have never known me and frankly, they never will...I am not saying I am bad person but we all have our faults, mine have just been vast...What do you think?
"Defined in psychological terms, a fanatic is a man who consciously over-compensates a secret doubt"
Aldous Huxley
Is there really a way to control my random thoughts by not compromising how I think or who I am?
Are there really too many things racing through my head at once or is that just me finding an excuse to explain my confusion?
These questions can only be answered by myself yet I am the only person that is asking how to solve them...does that make sense to you? Does my intelligence overcome my focus? Is it possible I am too smart for my own mind? Or am I just, yet again, making up excuses for my self confusion. Is it just my mind conflicting with my final decisions?
Do I need to see a therapist or do I just need to stop worrying?
Why do I worry?
Let's start there; why do I worry?
I think I worry because of what I have seen happen to intelligent people that lose track of themselves. I find it easy to work on 100 things at once but I don't like to do it. Is that strange? Something I find so easy to do is the exact problem that makes it hard.
I mean on one hand I should feel blessed to be able to multi-task so well and know wholeheartedly that everything I ever do will be a success but selfishly I find this to be a hindrance.
It was her that made me see that my abilities to be successful as a gift and that I shouldn't look at them as a hindrance, but she was an alcoholic with an intellect that I could never rival. So was this her sober genius talking to me or her stubborn drunken self just saying what she can to shut me up?
Do I believe her? After she told me I was never meant to be? I want to believe what she says and trust in the security in her words but I can't. Is that a problem with me or have I just been emotionally abused so much that what she says gets rejected by my conscious self almost immediately?
I have recently met an individual that rivals my unknown intelligence and challenges my thoughts and myself. This I like very much. Does that mean I have an attraction to confrontation? I know what I speak of is not confrontational but could it be? Is that the reason I find this individual so intriguing? I asked myself this last night as I lay in bed watch "Red Dragon"; a psychological thriller. Sidenote; great movie. Anyway, I have come to the conclusion that my intrigue toward this individual is not based on confrontation but yet based on intelligence. I get very tired of people very quickly but I am not tired of this person. That on one hand is an amazing feat for me but on the other hand somewhat has me asking myself if I am okay knowing that there is someone out there that can break down these walls so easily. Walls that I have worked very hard and have gone through so much to be able to have. Most would see this as a problem, they would be worried. I myself feel that I am excited. I look forward to learning from this person and bettering myself based on their ideas and thoughts.
I am fanatic about bettering myself, about finding my next challenge and about making myself a great person.
Many will say I am a great person now, the only problem is, many of these people have never known me and frankly, they never will...I am not saying I am bad person but we all have our faults, mine have just been vast...What do you think?
"Defined in psychological terms, a fanatic is a man who consciously over-compensates a secret doubt"
Aldous Huxley
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